🔥 Roast my Instagram

@eskopiboss

11,134 followers

Alright, @eskopiboss, if caffeine was confidence, you'd be running an empire by now instead of a few coffee joints straight outta someone's Instagram fever dream. "Est. 2019"—congrats on the four ye...

@trzosiaczek

702 followers

Oh look, @trzosiaczek, the man, the myth, the guy who didn't even bother to write a bio! Not that words are needed when your follower count is screaming louder than your blank profile pic. ...

@carryminati

21,770,172 followers

Dear @carryminati, your username might be Ajey Nagar, but those photos scream "Ajey Too Much!" Wearing that red jacket like you’re about to start a revolution… in children's TV. ...

@nickyjam

43,336,900 followers

Oh, @nickyjam, you're the Leonardo da Vinci of bling and bad decisions! Those stacks of chains could bankroll a small nation, but let’s face it, they can’t hide your love affair with basic black h...

@nickyx.mp3

262 followers

Oh Nikhil, @nickyx.mp3, your bio claims you're making music and UI. You must be making invisibility cloaks too because neither are visible anywhere on your profile. "Si tu siempre en mi corazon"—hop...

@jenn.gymgirl

11 followers

Oh, Jennifer, 10 whole followers? Your fan club must be meeting at the corner booth of a very small coffee shop. Is your goal to have one follower for every pound you can bench? ...

@misseclassroom

3,464 followers

Dear @misseclassroom, your attempt to blend magic with English teaching is less Harry Potter and more like a confused muggle with a plastic wand from the dollar store. 🧙✨ I see your bio’s spitt...

@movilidad.coradir

12,116 followers

Oh wow, @movilidad.coradir, where did you get your social media strategy—out of a cornflakes box? With only 12026 followers, your account is as electrifying as a dead battery, which fittingly matche...

@theglutenfreeveganpantry

521 followers

Oh look, another Instagram account with more hashtags than followers—@theglutenfreeveganpantry, where even the bio tries to come off as delicious but ends up as bland as your typical rice cake. I se...

@mariaelizabethsho

53,065 followers

Oh look, @mariaelizabethsho! Saving relationships one cat meme at a time—because nothing says "high-achieving couple" like comparing your love life to two furballs scratching at each other. Who knew...

@az_pachamama

157 followers

Oh boy, @az_pachamama, dedicated to agriculture and beekeeping like it’s still the year 1000—because evidently, your social media game is stuck in the past century too. With 149 followers and 106 ...

@ccmrie

7,723 followers

Marie, your bio reads like the itinerary of a lost luggage bag—a whirlwind tour from Paris to New York via Copenhagen, yet somehow you ended up in the bland aisle of Instagram cliche. Art direction ...

@itsjanineki

4,719 followers

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@karate_kyiv

12,704 followers

Oh, @karate_kyiv, where do we start? Your profile screams "Welcome to the dojo of awkward angles and ‘what am I even looking at?’ poses." That 50% discount on your first kick maybe because you'll ...

@menteintrusa

590 followers

Oh, @menteintrusa, where to even begin with this visual train wreck that's crashed face-first into a gratuitous slideshow of objectification? Your bio reads like a chaotic garage sale of predictable I...

@badr_eddine_sakouat

380,145 followers

Congrats, @badr_eddine_sakouat, for being the self-declared "Ambassadeur Gold" and "Artiste Diamant"—because if your acting career is as dazzling as your titles, the Oscars better watch out! Those 5...

@mastertrainersagar

305,223 followers

Oh look, Sagar Jadhav, the self-proclaimed messiah of "Whole-Person, Whole-Life" but let’s be real, your caption game is as flat as your sophomore yoga poses. How many inspirational quotes did you w...

@inara_rooms

171,807 followers

@inara_rooms, you've achieved the impossible: mixing the craftsmanship of wishful thinking with the style of a Wi-Fi dead zone. You're the IKEA of the digital age—but with more knock-offs and fewer ...

@vibrantsouq

65 followers

Wow, @vibrantsouq, "Vibrant" must be marketing jargon for "we’ll brighten your day with stuff you didn’t know you could overpay for on AliExpress!" With a follower count barely high enough to fill...

@neuss_legions

958 followers

Oh, @neuss_legions, looking at your profile is like watching the slowest touchdown in history—still waiting for that endzone hype. Your bio claims to be the "biggest Football Family in Neuss," but w...