🔥 Roast my Instagram

@misseclassroom

3,472 followers

Dear @misseclassroom, your attempt to blend magic with English teaching is less Harry Potter and more like a confused muggle with a plastic wand from the dollar store. 🧙✨ I see your bio’s spitt...

@movilidad.coradir

12,061 followers

Oh wow, @movilidad.coradir, where did you get your social media strategy—out of a cornflakes box? With only 12026 followers, your account is as electrifying as a dead battery, which fittingly matche...

@theglutenfreeveganpantry

346 followers

Oh look, another Instagram account with more hashtags than followers—@theglutenfreeveganpantry, where even the bio tries to come off as delicious but ends up as bland as your typical rice cake. I se...

@mariaelizabethsho

50,699 followers

Oh look, @mariaelizabethsho! Saving relationships one cat meme at a time—because nothing says "high-achieving couple" like comparing your love life to two furballs scratching at each other. Who knew...

@az_pachamama

156 followers

Oh boy, @az_pachamama, dedicated to agriculture and beekeeping like it’s still the year 1000—because evidently, your social media game is stuck in the past century too. With 149 followers and 106 ...

@ccmrie

7,732 followers

Marie, your bio reads like the itinerary of a lost luggage bag—a whirlwind tour from Paris to New York via Copenhagen, yet somehow you ended up in the bland aisle of Instagram cliche. Art direction ...

@itsjanineki

4,720 followers

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@karate_kyiv

12,719 followers

Oh, @karate_kyiv, where do we start? Your profile screams "Welcome to the dojo of awkward angles and ‘what am I even looking at?’ poses." That 50% discount on your first kick maybe because you'll ...

@menteintrusa

577 followers

Oh, @menteintrusa, where to even begin with this visual train wreck that's crashed face-first into a gratuitous slideshow of objectification? Your bio reads like a chaotic garage sale of predictable I...

@badr_eddine_sakouat

371,497 followers

Congrats, @badr_eddine_sakouat, for being the self-declared "Ambassadeur Gold" and "Artiste Diamant"—because if your acting career is as dazzling as your titles, the Oscars better watch out! Those 5...

@mastertrainersagar

306,154 followers

Oh look, Sagar Jadhav, the self-proclaimed messiah of "Whole-Person, Whole-Life" but let’s be real, your caption game is as flat as your sophomore yoga poses. How many inspirational quotes did you w...

@inara_rooms

158,307 followers

@inara_rooms, you've achieved the impossible: mixing the craftsmanship of wishful thinking with the style of a Wi-Fi dead zone. You're the IKEA of the digital age—but with more knock-offs and fewer ...

@vibrantsouq

63 followers

Wow, @vibrantsouq, "Vibrant" must be marketing jargon for "we’ll brighten your day with stuff you didn’t know you could overpay for on AliExpress!" With a follower count barely high enough to fill...

@neuss_legions

953 followers

Oh, @neuss_legions, looking at your profile is like watching the slowest touchdown in history—still waiting for that endzone hype. Your bio claims to be the "biggest Football Family in Neuss," but w...

@rhinosbocholt

1,834 followers

@rhinosbocholt, where trying to find the 'sport' in sports team is a full-time job! With 1768 souls following, I suspect most are here for the inevitable circus, not the performance....

@bulldozer.football

2,200 followers

@bulldozer.football, the only thing you're bulldozing is Instagram's capacity for mediocrity. You proudly claim to be the second oldest club in Europe, yet your follower count suggests you're about as...

@neusslegionsamericanfootball

524 followers

Wow, Neuss Legions, you really went all-out with that bio—can’t get more original than repeating "#1" like my grandma’s stuck VHS tape. With a whopping 491 followers, it seems you’ve cornered ...

@___alyvasquez

251 followers

Oh look, it's @___alyvasquez, holding down the fort for "white-Hispanics" everywhere—because nothing screams cultural identity like an ellipse and an underscore parade. ...

@the_tattoo_theory

1,677 followers

Oh, @the_tattoo_theory, Coimbatore's next Picasso—or should I say Pic-oh-no you didn't. Brave of you to claim you're "bringing art to life" while showcasing floral tattoos straighter than a ruler af...

@richinlovejournal

316 followers

@richinlovejournal, because clearly, running a visual snooze fest was taken! You’ve got 16 followers struggling like troopers to "enjoy, eat, travel, love." If your bio was any more generic, it woul...