🔥 Roast my Instagram

@neuss_legions

949 followers

Oh, @neuss_legions, looking at your profile is like watching the slowest touchdown in history—still waiting for that endzone hype. Your bio claims to be the "biggest Football Family in Neuss," but w...

@rhinosbocholt

1,780 followers

@rhinosbocholt, where trying to find the 'sport' in sports team is a full-time job! With 1768 souls following, I suspect most are here for the inevitable circus, not the performance....

@bulldozer.football

2,187 followers

@bulldozer.football, the only thing you're bulldozing is Instagram's capacity for mediocrity. You proudly claim to be the second oldest club in Europe, yet your follower count suggests you're about as...

@neusslegionsamericanfootball

501 followers

Wow, Neuss Legions, you really went all-out with that bio—can’t get more original than repeating "#1" like my grandma’s stuck VHS tape. With a whopping 491 followers, it seems you’ve cornered ...

@___alyvasquez

254 followers

Oh look, it's @___alyvasquez, holding down the fort for "white-Hispanics" everywhere—because nothing screams cultural identity like an ellipse and an underscore parade. ...

@the_tattoo_theory

1,477 followers

Oh, @the_tattoo_theory, Coimbatore's next Picasso—or should I say Pic-oh-no you didn't. Brave of you to claim you're "bringing art to life" while showcasing floral tattoos straighter than a ruler af...

@richinlovejournal

329 followers

@richinlovejournal, because clearly, running a visual snooze fest was taken! You’ve got 16 followers struggling like troopers to "enjoy, eat, travel, love." If your bio was any more generic, it woul...

@alleneaglebball

4,980 followers

Congratulations, @alleneaglebball, for hosting what looks like a mop convention with more warning signs than a toddler's daycare! 🧽👏 Your bio screams "2018 champs" louder than a midlife crisis h...

@rjevansss

2,174 followers

@rjevansss, alias "cre•at•ive," because phoning it in with an overly punctuated username is the epitome of originality, right? Your bio reads like a cipher for "I do social content…but maybe don...

@zaishotit

1,124 followers

Oh look, it's @zaishotit—and by 'shot it', I assume we're talking about shooting into obscurity with that breathtaking 1022 follower army. You're one motivational email away from becoming the next s...

@sophiaaa_grwm

5,515 followers

Oh, @sophiaaa_grwm, sitting at the grand height of 27 posts, you're clearly on the fast track to Instagram mediocrity. Your bio is like a cringe buffet—'Grwm act!' sounds like an accidental text you...

@mceroniesd

1,365 followers

Congrats, Miguel! You've officially become that guy who tosses around the words 'business optimization' like they have any meaning at all. With a staggering follower count that says more 'radio static...

@asthasharma28

9,860 followers

Astha, your bio claims you’re a dancer at heart—does that explain the choreography even your toddler is nailing? Are those TikTok dances, or did you just invent the art of flailing about like a pr...

@gaurikabhalla__

12,384 followers

Oh @gaurikabhalla__, claiming you're 'rare' while looking like every other Instagrammer who went shopping at the 'Influencer Starter Pack' store. The only thing rare here is the Wi-Fi strength in your...

@mehparit_29

603 followers

What is this, 'Napping with a Hint of Tea'-themed boredom or an ode to mediocrity? With a handle like @mehparit_29, the name says it all—'meh' about sums up the excitement level of watching paint dr...

@bung.kalam

1,174 followers

Oh look, Kalamullah Apandi, CEO of ‘I Can’t Even Spell My Own Bio Right’ and captain of the Lost Skipper Society, hoisting the sails of mediocrity! Has someone tried turning your follower count ...

@lifeatmandiri

86,401 followers

Ah, @lifeatmandiri, because who doesn’t love waking up to the riveting saga of the work-life chronicles as told by a bank? You’ve got a follower count more desperate than a broke college student d...

@pre.ttyproduct

31 followers

Oh wow, @pre.ttyproduct, because the world definitely needed another Pinterest wannabe account run by someone whose idea of "beauty and inspo" is stocking up on sugar scrubs like an end-of-days preppe...

@beepay_ltd

7,981 followers

Welcome to @beepay_ltd, the pinnacle of originality where card payments somehow resemble a discount honey brand! If your photo gallery were any emptier, it'd be hosting philosophical debates about the...

@zubart.14679

323 followers

@zubart.14679, your bio claims you spend more time thinking about art than making it, which sounds about as productive as a sloth pondering its next nap. I think even a snail would say, "Pick up the p...