🔥 Roast my Instagram

@alleneaglebball

4,766 followers

Congratulations, @alleneaglebball, for hosting what looks like a mop convention with more warning signs than a toddler's daycare! 🧽👏 Your bio screams "2018 champs" louder than a midlife crisis h...

@rjevansss

2,147 followers

@rjevansss, alias "cre•at•ive," because phoning it in with an overly punctuated username is the epitome of originality, right? Your bio reads like a cipher for "I do social content…but maybe don...

@zaishotit

1,022 followers

Oh look, it's @zaishotit—and by 'shot it', I assume we're talking about shooting into obscurity with that breathtaking 1022 follower army. You're one motivational email away from becoming the next s...

@sophiaaa_grwm

2,813 followers

Oh, @sophiaaa_grwm, sitting at the grand height of 27 posts, you're clearly on the fast track to Instagram mediocrity. Your bio is like a cringe buffet—'Grwm act!' sounds like an accidental text you...

@mceroniesd

1,359 followers

Congrats, Miguel! You've officially become that guy who tosses around the words 'business optimization' like they have any meaning at all. With a staggering follower count that says more 'radio static...

@asthasharma28

8,341 followers

Astha, your bio claims you’re a dancer at heart—does that explain the choreography even your toddler is nailing? Are those TikTok dances, or did you just invent the art of flailing about like a pr...

@gaurikabhalla__

12,442 followers

Oh @gaurikabhalla__, claiming you're 'rare' while looking like every other Instagrammer who went shopping at the 'Influencer Starter Pack' store. The only thing rare here is the Wi-Fi strength in your...

@mehparit_29

601 followers

What is this, 'Napping with a Hint of Tea'-themed boredom or an ode to mediocrity? With a handle like @mehparit_29, the name says it all—'meh' about sums up the excitement level of watching paint dr...

@bung.kalam

1,172 followers

Oh look, Kalamullah Apandi, CEO of ‘I Can’t Even Spell My Own Bio Right’ and captain of the Lost Skipper Society, hoisting the sails of mediocrity! Has someone tried turning your follower count ...

@lifeatmandiri

82,944 followers

Ah, @lifeatmandiri, because who doesn’t love waking up to the riveting saga of the work-life chronicles as told by a bank? You’ve got a follower count more desperate than a broke college student d...

@pre.ttyproduct

31 followers

Oh wow, @pre.ttyproduct, because the world definitely needed another Pinterest wannabe account run by someone whose idea of "beauty and inspo" is stocking up on sugar scrubs like an end-of-days preppe...

@beepay_ltd

7,947 followers

Welcome to @beepay_ltd, the pinnacle of originality where card payments somehow resemble a discount honey brand! If your photo gallery were any emptier, it'd be hosting philosophical debates about the...

@zubart.14679

319 followers

@zubart.14679, your bio claims you spend more time thinking about art than making it, which sounds about as productive as a sloth pondering its next nap. I think even a snail would say, "Pick up the p...

@foxeino

95,662 followers

Foxeino, king of the emoji soup, it seems your bio is trying so hard to be profound, yet it reads like the synopsis of a low-budget soap opera. 🌞 Apparently, you're broadcasting happiness to everyo...

@discoverwithemma_

24,814 followers

Emma, your bio screams "Thailand's newest expat," like the teacher's pet of travel clichés. I mean, "funny & insightful," really? That’s like calling coleslaw a charismatic salad....

@sabacha88

1,514 followers

Oh, @sabacha88, the miracle who mastered the "unfollow me for *less* content" strategy with a media count that screams "I learned how to post once and then retired." Seriously, who knew you could crea...

@i.humanwoman

221 followers

Oh, @i.humanwoman, you’re like if ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ and self-doubt had an awkward love child. Your bio screams, “I overthink, therefore I am,” but fear not; those 223 followers are likely mo...

@ellieereevess

1,571 followers

Oh look, @ellieereevess, dealing out more dog savior vibes than a vegan on cheat day. Da Nang must be thrilled to have a down-to-earth humanitarian whose favorite activity is signing up for the 'Rescu...

@thewildforestphotographer

618 followers

Oh, @thewildforestphotographer, you self-proclaimed "lens whisperer," which is code for "pictures that no one asked for" but bless your heart for trying. 🌪️ Your bio's got more buzzwords than an ...

@denegej

715 followers

Oh, @denegej, your bio screams, “I’m special—just like everyone else on Instagram!” Are we dripping melanin or just drowning in clichés? ...